Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Bring Me Your Gross

I got thinking today about the grossest things I have done as a parent so far, things I SWORE I would never do.  You know when you realize you're pregnant?  Well after you wake up from fainting, the first thing you want to do is seek out information.  My sister and mother bought me What to Expect books the minute they found out.  I read them from front to back.  They were SO good, so informative, yet in some ways, SO gross.  There were things in here that I was all "HA!  I would NEVER do that!  Oh my land, what were they thinking?  I will so have it together better than this."  Mhm.  Riiiight.  I want to know the grossest things you've done so far as a parent, Moms and Dads alike.  Post it here, post it on Facebook, I don't care just bare it.  I want to see who has done things they swore they never would.  BE BRAVE!!!!  Here's three of mine:
  • I've officially gone a full week without a shower. (My doctor told me this would happen and I looked right at her and said in my snooty-not-yet-a-mother-way "Oh no, you see I have to shave my legs EVERY day.  If I don't do that, I will die."  Ohhh, young-not-yet-a-mother.  You've no idea.
  • I've wanted my daughter suffering from a cold to blow her nose so badly that I told her to blow into my hand.  My bare hand.  Without napkins.  The funniest part?  This happened last week.  
  • Because I just love catching foreign objects in my hand - one day my little girl (only about a month old) started to grunt and groan.  I knew a poop was coming and she happened to be on the changing table bare-assed.  I didn't have time to grab a diaper.....soooooo that good old hand came in handy again.  Caught it like a baseball.  Any parent knows that the first months of poo is not solid.  Not at all.  Squishy squish right between the fingers. 
Anyone for chocolate?

3 comments:

  1. Haha! The grossest thing I've done as a parent was removing a too-hard-to-pass poop from my daughter's rear end. Ugh. Gross. Thought I was going to gag.

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  2. Aaaah!!!!! That's a good one!!! The things we do for love huh?

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